London, December 2002 home

4. A Heap on the Sleigh

(22nd December 2002)

With the last party guests having departed, and Oliver having been stolen from us by the sleep fairy, I was put to bed by the combination of exhaustion (it was around 5am at that point), alcohol, and lack of anyone else to talk shite to. My last memorable utterance having been in relation to the concept of sex on the beach, to which I expressed concern over the purported merits. I tried to put my concerns as subtly as possible - "There's a good reason they don't make condoms out of sandpaper", said I, as delicately as I could... and I think that's probably one of life's truisms.

During my sleeping hours I managed to get myself a lovely leg cramp which took some shifting - a couple of days trying to walk and stretch it off - sleeping is never much fun!

Awake on the Sunday lunchtime, it was only fitting that we should get ourselves down to the French cafe underneath Oliver and Nicky's place, run by party guests of the previous night, Eric and Julia. Coffees imbibed, croissants ingested, and various French-style treats bought as Christmas gifts by my co-diners, we adjourned to watch Nicky gift-wrapping. Actually, that wasn't the plan, but it is addictive viewing, which is a shame, since having an audience did not seem to help our performer in her task. With everything wrapped up, it was time for me to brave the London roads and find my way over to my more permanent residence in the King's Cross area. Judging by my last efforts on London roads, I lowered my expectations for a swift journey and did some pre-emptive map reading.

Surprisingly, I found my way to the B&B almost directly, foundering at the last minute when I realised that the one-way system was against me. Luckily, I'd made an on-foot reconnaissance mission while in London the previous weekend, and so was able to loop round and get into the right streets to beat London's road system planners at their own game. One room paid for, check out, checked into and filled with the content of my car's boot and I was ready to seek alternative activity

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04 February 2003
Ashley Frieze