Is it just part of the experience?

I remember some comedian or other cracking a joke along the lines of:

Why do parents take their kids to supermarkets when they want to smack them?

This is wickedly accurate and it would be funny if it were not true. Though I don't remember being a nuisance myself, it does seem that many children choose the weekly shopping trip as their time to misbehave. So, it's a fact of life, but it's still a shocker when a kid really goes to town in the full public forum of the local superstore.

Sunday's visit to Asda is something I look forward to and dread at the same time. We're generally well prepared and manage to get what we go for 95% of the time. However, when we get to the last bit, when I'm starting to get hungry and when it seems that everything is done (apart from the couple of items you forgot from the other end of the store), and you only need to go to a till, I start to get restless. This Sunday, my desire to leave the shop was amplified by the behaviour of one small brat, being a right royal pain in the arse the other side of the tills.

I'm not a parent. Maybe I don't know what it's like to discipline a youngster. However, if there was one child angling for a good hiding and not getting it, it was this sprog in Asda. The last time I heard blood curdling screams like that was during a horror movie, being made by a monster, and monster is a good description of this child. The screaming went on for around 15 minutes within the store and was still going on in the car park as we left. The child will probably turn into a scumbag or an opera singer - maybe even both - if he can maintain such a vocal level of tantrum for so long.

Perhaps the real solution to a problem like this lies in prevention. Why does a child get into such a state? Surely it cannot just be down to too much tartrazine in his orange juice? (though with Asda's own brands, I cannot comment). Children need attention and do not tend to get it from their parents in supermarkets, where getting the shopping done and getting out are even higher priorities than they seem to me when I reach the nearly-finished stage. It's probably the case that these megaton tantrums start when the child wants a few seconds of attention from the parent or has been dazzled by something that they want from the shelf. By ignoring the child, you build up enough negative energy to sustain a tantrum.

A few seconds' attention is all that is required there and then. In the long-run, the child should have the lack of attention explained so that they don't feel neglected. Children can learn good behaviour, but will amplify bad behaviour if they feel it gets a better result. Tolerance, understanding and, occasionally, a good kick up the arse, are all it takes to stop your child going for the world record tantrum.

Has anyone got the number for Norris McQuirter?

8 January 2001
Ashley Frieze