I got a new credit card through the post the other day. I mean that I got a new edition of a credit card I already held. It was one I got a couple of years ago to take advantage of a balance transfer rate. Its balance has been zero for a while and receiving it was a big reminder to get the thing cancelled. I've gone through the stage of having a lot of credit cards on the go and have come to the conclusion that it's not a good thing. Now, I have more credit cards than I want, but I'm slowly and surely cancelling them. I've got a good credit rating, as far as I can tell, and credit cards is the least efficient way to use this rating - excepting the 0% balance transfer game, which is too easy to get wrong in a costly way, though I will still try.

So, I rang up.

I'd like to cancel my credit card. Well, I'm not using it, and its existence is a risk of misuse, so I'd rather cancel it. No, I don't have any balances to transfer at 2.9%, rather than your stock rate of 18.9%, no I don't want to keep it as a "backup". Yes, cancel it. No, I don't want it. Stop the card. Stop it. Now. I've destroyed it. I'm destroying all evidence it ever existed. Thanks. Thank you. No, I have no further requirements. Thanks. Bye. Bye Bye. No, you can't twist my arm to get into debt, even cheaply. Thanks. Bye now. Bye. G'bye. No. You hang up. No you. No you. Ah sod it!