I thought now would be a good time to make a comment on the arbitrary nature of comedy competitions. I can do this, since I've not yet got into the mindset of preparing for tonight's final at Bar XS of the Comedy Balloon Comedian of the Year competition (the gig list on this site will be updated soon) and I am still remembering last night's competition at the Frog and Bucket.

The truth of a comedy competition is that it puts a mental obstacle between the performer and the crowd - because they're there to be better than another act, rather than interact with the audience. It's also hard to judge the quality of comedy, something which is so in the moment that it almost doesn't matter how good it is, so long as it works, or alternatively can be excused for not working because it's of such a quality that means it will work next time. It's a problem.

There is one truth. Acts who come along and wow a crowd will win their audience and probably not fail to win a competition if one happens to be happening at the time. If I ever become an effective experience comedian, I will hopefully have developed an armoury of set pieces and audience coercion techniques that enable me to give audiences a good time. If I don't win any competitions, I won't complain.

Right, I'm off to baste myself with bacon fat and sit under a sun-lamp while stroking a Yorkshire terrier. My rider is amazing!